Well, today's adventure started with Ray letting me out of my cage/aquarium thingy!
Of course, like any good hamster, the first thing I did is try and eat the floor. Yup.
Well, Ray didn't like that one bit, so he picked me up, I said sorry, and we carried on regardless!
I asked Ray if I could do the Hamsterball thing. You know, those mega groovy balls that you put cute little hamster like me in and let us run around the house? Yeah.. those things...
Well, Ray obviously doesn't know what they are, 'cos the silly plonker just rolled me up in a ball in his hand...sigh... I really do dispair sometimes.
Ray: Well soooooorry, you should have made your intent clearer. Maybe if I hollow out a cabbage, and....
Err... nah, forget about it...(Idiot!)
At this point I realised that Ray was filming my every move! I don't recall giving him permission to do that. Well, I let him off, you know how forgiving I am.
Anyway, the point was that you could see my bum, so I decided to get out of there sharpish!
Aha! I spy something interesting....
Oh, it's you!!! BOO!!!! Hehehehehe.
OH MAN am I ever a comedy genius? Hah! You guys are so lucky I grace you with my presence...
Hey...what's Ray up to......? Eeeek! Put me down......!
Yeah,. very funny.. haha.
No, I do not make for a nice snack, and especially not for the cat next door!
Though I must admit... I do look quite astonishingly cute in this thing. Sexy too. heh
Ray: Earth calling Homer's ego, come in ego...
OK, now that the dodgy jokes are over (I hope! - I don't like the look in your eye there, Ray..), we can do something fun. Hey, what's that on the TV in the background? A Bruce Lee film? Woohoo!
Homer by day, member of the secret "Ninja Hamster Attack Force" by night... oh did I say that out loud? Oops...
Ray: (shakes head and sighs in amusement)
POW! HYAAA!!
Watch those paws of fury fly, I am the super ninja of the rodent world!!
Ray: sigh... just get on with it, Homer..
Oh.. sorry.. where were we.. what next?
Oh yeah.. I was going to do a bit of DIY back in the ol' nest.
Hey, Ray, got a few tools I could borrow?
Ray: Here you go, Homer. hehehe
Damn! That's one big screwdriver!! Don't suppose you've got a smaller one? No? Well I'll give it a try anyway.
HEEEEEEEELP!!!!
Get it off of me!! I think this is definately a bit big for me.
I'll have to go shopping tomorrow and get some proper hamster-sized tools, not
these ridiculous big things you've got here!
Ray: "Can he fix it?" No he can't! Hehehe
Before I forget, I'd best start getting this stuff up into a webpage or two.
What? Surprised at a web page designing hamster? Get with the times dude, this is the 21st Century! I'd have my own domain name by now, but apparently VeriSign don't take payment by discarded peanut shells. Can't see why not, I love 'em!
Now...let's fire up and get going......
Tum de tum... tra la la.
I'm such a whiz at this stuff, taught Ray everything he knows. I know he calls himself a sys admin, programmer, web designer, and all that other stuff, but I'm the real guru in this family.
Now where's that letter gone? Damn human keyboards. Oh yeah, here it is. I'll have a 'P' please Bob! Hehehe, I crack myself up, I really do!
English... Hindu.... Spanish.... Swedish... Damn, why do these stupid programs never have a Hamsterish spellchecker?
I'm off to write a scathing e-mail to Bill Gates right now! Feel my wrath, you puny human geekman! Hah!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWN!!!!!!!!!!
Well that was a very tiring day! Yeah, I know it may not seem it to you, but remember, I'm only two inches tall!
(Sings: "He's got the whole hamster, in his hands, he's got the whole wee hamster, in his hands....")
Ray: Oh, you silly Homer. hehehehe
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...............
Now if Ray doesn't mind, I'm off to sleep in his hands. Goodnight, everybody!
Ray: Goodnight, Homer!