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My life story to date: My mummy was purchased at a pet shop, where the nasty shopkeeper said she was a boy. This despite the fact that she is most definately female, and was most definately very pregnant with me and my other 8 siblings at the time. Might go bitch-slap the dude sometime fir dissin' my momma. Anyway.... me and my brothers and sisters were born from my (grrrr) 'male' mother, and we grew up in Ray's brother's house watching Big Brother all the time. I think he liked it. Sadly, one of my sisters died at the tender age of two weeks old, but the rest of us thrived and are doing well, thanks. Well, I soon wanted my independance and needed a place of my own (hey, I'm not getting any younger!). Luckilly at this point a groovy dude called Ray came along, I smiled at him, and we became best mates. I found out that Ray was my previous owner's brother, so I decided to try out life at his place, and IT ROCKS!!! With Ray as my new daddy, life seems good to me. This is how my first day in my brave new world went.

	Hi there, my name is Homer The Hamster, welcome to my Hamster Cam! <waves to camera> After watching Big Brother since the day I was born five weeks ago, I've realised that it's my purpose in life is to bring you...... Big Hamster, the hamster version of big brother. Although I'm a hamster I'm definately not big (being a mere baby), but I'm sure you get the point. Although to be honest, I don't like the idea of sharing my cage with others, so it'll be just me, and I wouldn't want to be kicked out, so there'll be none of that voting malarky either. I guess that just leaves me and the cam.. FAB!!! On with the show!!
Righty-o, let's get ready to go!  I'm just going to get myself revved up for this then off I go!!!!!!! 3......2.......1..... GO HAMSTER POWER!!!!!
	What? You expected me to zoom right from the start? You've got a lot to learn about Hamsters, dude. We gotta build up the pace and get into it. Come back in five minutes and you'll see the fabbest, grooviest sprint ever!
WOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!! Off I go!!!! YEE-HAW!!!   <Please note that running at warp speed in a big wheel is not something you should do at home. The stunts on your screen are performed under strict supervision of adults and you should not attempt to copy them>
	Oh man, I'm beat! Sod that for a lark, I'm off for something to eat!
Mmmmmmmmmmmm........... carroty........
	WTF Dude?!? That is one big mean carrot! I can't possibly eat all that, I'm off to find more reasonable food!
Mmmmmmmmmmmmm............. food............   Yeah, I take after Homer, hence the name. hehehe
	Yeah I sit on my food - you got a problem with that???
Right, now I have to get this caged area thing into shape. Just moving house the hamster way, don't mind me. :-)
	Aaaaaah, perfectly placed. Now I just need to get it into shape. Bear with me and I'll have this place in fine hamster shape in minutes....
Tada!!!! Doesn't it look fab? I'm so proud of my new bachelor pad. :)
	Well dude, I'm bushed, knackered, shot, out for the count. That's faaar to much activity for one ickle hamster on his first day in a new home. I'm off for bed and I'll see you tomorrow.   Toodle-pip!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWN!!!!!!!!!!
	Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...............

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Videos:

Homer is confuddled by the wheel (5MB) - How does this bloody wheel work?

Run Homer, Run! - Just Homer running on his wheel.